dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
