I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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