Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
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Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
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The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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