Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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