Slut skills are useful in every country.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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