She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
