We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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