so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
