the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he fucked my hip out of place.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
