ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
