We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
