i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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