how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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