the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
