I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i need some magic done to my vagina
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
