No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
