just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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