Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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