Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Drunk is not a location!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
