i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
