i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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