He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
