When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
