so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
