Define "chronic" masturbator.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Floor bacon is actually really good
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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