people are starting to question the shark bite story
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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