How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
