So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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