I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
