why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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