I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize