Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize