remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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