i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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