can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
