She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
its not stalking. its research.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
