Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
