The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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