When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
