I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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