HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Every concussion has its silver lining
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
