Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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