Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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