Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
