if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
