you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
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The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
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if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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