Farmville is her only friend.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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