It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We are two peas in an std pod
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
