I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
