The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
