Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
