if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
