last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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