my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
