what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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