Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
