Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Randomize