he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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