people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
