Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
