I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
