I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize