Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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