two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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