He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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