Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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